Please Dude, Don’t NAMBLA Me
Posted Wednesday, July 28, 2010 by Staff
(San Francisco, CA) DFMC (Don’t F*ck My Child), a child’s rights advocacy group, has released a new study claiming that NAMBLA (North American Man/Boy Love Association) membership and bulletin subscription numbers are not indicative of the number of real pedo’s that belong to the organization. The study however does emphasize that while the numbers are inflated, the organization is still a threat to young boys everywhere.
DFMC argues that most paid memberships and subscriptions are acquired as jokes and revenge plots. Purchasing and signing others up without their knowledge is known as NAMBLA’ing someone. Got a coworker that you really hate? Did someone embarrass or wrong you? Involved in a prank war and need to top the last joke? The answer to all the predicaments is increasingly becoming, “NAMBLA them!” The DFMC study found that young adults between 15 and 27 are the most likely to NAMBLA their friends and enemies. In most revenge cases, the NAMBLA’er (the person who signs up another for NAMBLA) is someone who has no way of defending themselves from their antagonist. So the NAMBLA’er attacks like a ninja from the shadows to cast doubts on their attacker’s reputation with the distinct NAMBLA sting. Subscribing the NAMBLA’ee (the person who unknowingly is signed up for the NAMBLA bulletin or membership) to the NAMBLA bulletin at their work address is the most common scenario. Everyone from the mailroom, to the front desk, to the boss and coworkers will see that they are a NAMBLA subscriber. Once they get the reputation as a NAMBLA pedophile, it is only a matter of time until the NAMBLA’ee is terminated or harassed by coworkers so much that they quit.
The second scenario is when someone is NAMBLA’ed as a prank. Sadly the repercussions for the NAMBLA’ee in the prank scenario are much like that of the revenge scenario. However in this scenario the NAMBLA’er gets to taunt their friend for being Pedobear and a card-carrying child f*cker, which provides hours of entertainment.
DFMC estimates that as much as 47% of NAMBLA memberships and NAMBLA bulletin subscriptions are due to people being NAMBLA’ed. Dr. Norm Caldwell, who was the lead author of the study, cautions not to be too relieved that NAMBLA is only half the powerhouse it was originally thought to be. “What we still have is over 500 open and self-described pedophiles lobbying Congress with the help of the ACLU to legalize their perverted crimes of preying on our children.” Dr. Norm then goes on to explain that the results of the study prove his theory that the FBI cannot profile people as pedophiles from holding a NAMBLA membership alone.
